Då lämnar vi över ordet till Scott Murray på the fiver.
riverrun, past Michel and Lennart's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Uefa HQ and Environs. Sir Alex Ferguson, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, will be very happy with a draw that sees Manchester United paired with the Big Cup equivalent of Basingstoke Town in the quarter-finals; Arsenal will lose to them in the semis should they get past Villarreal.
United's draw proved a successful first outing for Uefa's new Amazing Patented Hotball System(TM), which has been specifically designed to remove all unwanted excitement and uncertainty from competitive football on the continent. Once top-brand United's safe passage to the final had been sorted out, Uefa dug out the trusty old VIC-20 they use ever year to churn out the rest of the draw.
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Any fans of the winning side in that tie who haven't decided to take the Special Bath will see their lads take on Barcelona or Bayern Munich. A tricky route, but Liverpool can at least take heart from the news that Uefa is to ensure the second leg of their quarter-final will be played on 14 April, allowing everyone connected with the club to attend memorials marking the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough tragedy. Representatives from all four clubs did give their verdicts on the draw, but quotes make blood seep from our eyes, and in any case you know they're all bigging up their own chances. It's a given!
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